Tomorrow marks the first anniversary of my Mother's passing. It's surreal in so many ways - time truly does fly. But, this past year has been full of teachable moments for my children and myself. So, in honor of my Mom, I'm sharing my Top 5 Things I've Learned In A Year Without My Mom.
8/24/15 - #5 - Grief is A Sneaky Son-of-a-B%$@#
8/25/15 - #4 - Stuff is Just Stuff Until It Is A Memory
8/26/15 #3 - I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends and Family
#2 - Without Faith you Fail, Fall Flat, Fizzle, Flop & Flounder
My Mom had faith in God like no one I've ever known. Her passion for Jesus was breathtaking and left others in awe - especially during her cancer battle. I had friends from far and wide send me messages that her Caringbridge updates became their devotions. Mama didn't like what was happening, but she knew where she was heading and she was ready to go home.
It's true that you don't realize how important something is until it is gone. My Mom loved to send cards. She sent them to everyone for any event. What made them special was that they were always covered in scripture. There were usually at least two Bible verses inside of the card and one written on the outside of the envelope. I miss those cards. I miss the random envelopes that would come to my mailbox stuffed with copies of a newspaper or magazine article she wanted me to read, or BoxTops she saved for the girls school or a brochure of a play that was coming soon to Davidson Community Players or The Old Courthouse Theater that she wanted me to put on my calendar. Those random envelopes always had versus of God's word written on the outside. Usually some of the same ones - Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:13. I would pay a king's ransom to have one of those show in my mailbox right now. Heck, I would pay a double king's ransom if I would have just saved one envelope.
Don't get me wrong. As I've written before, my Mom and I didn't see eye to eye on religion, faith and the Bible. I participated in a Bible Study at Dilworth Church this spring on Hope and the Book of Jeremiah. My fellow participants got an earful about our faith differences. There were many, many times when she was alive that those scripture-filled envelopes really pissed me off because they contained an article on a topic where we vehemently disagreed. I've actually had multiple daydreams wondering what it will be like when I get to Heaven - who will get to say "I told you so??"
But, the faith I have found this year. My faith. It has saved me a 1,000,000 times over. There is no other reason to explain how in those darkest days last winter that I actually got up out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. I did it because I knew that something bigger and better than me knew the plans for me and didn't want to harm me. Because I believed in my core that I could get through ANYTHING with Christ's strength. It's not my Mom's faith. It's heavily influenced by her - I kept so many of her devotion books and I read her copy of "Jesus Calling" every morning - but if she were here we would still disagree about A LOT. This is my faith. This is my version of #yellowpixiedust. Her influence, my life.
8/24/15 - #5 - Grief is A Sneaky Son-of-a-B%$@#
8/25/15 - #4 - Stuff is Just Stuff Until It Is A Memory
8/26/15 #3 - I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends and Family
#2 - Without Faith you Fail, Fall Flat, Fizzle, Flop & Flounder
My Mom had faith in God like no one I've ever known. Her passion for Jesus was breathtaking and left others in awe - especially during her cancer battle. I had friends from far and wide send me messages that her Caringbridge updates became their devotions. Mama didn't like what was happening, but she knew where she was heading and she was ready to go home.
It's true that you don't realize how important something is until it is gone. My Mom loved to send cards. She sent them to everyone for any event. What made them special was that they were always covered in scripture. There were usually at least two Bible verses inside of the card and one written on the outside of the envelope. I miss those cards. I miss the random envelopes that would come to my mailbox stuffed with copies of a newspaper or magazine article she wanted me to read, or BoxTops she saved for the girls school or a brochure of a play that was coming soon to Davidson Community Players or The Old Courthouse Theater that she wanted me to put on my calendar. Those random envelopes always had versus of God's word written on the outside. Usually some of the same ones - Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:13. I would pay a king's ransom to have one of those show in my mailbox right now. Heck, I would pay a double king's ransom if I would have just saved one envelope.
Don't get me wrong. As I've written before, my Mom and I didn't see eye to eye on religion, faith and the Bible. I participated in a Bible Study at Dilworth Church this spring on Hope and the Book of Jeremiah. My fellow participants got an earful about our faith differences. There were many, many times when she was alive that those scripture-filled envelopes really pissed me off because they contained an article on a topic where we vehemently disagreed. I've actually had multiple daydreams wondering what it will be like when I get to Heaven - who will get to say "I told you so??"
But, the faith I have found this year. My faith. It has saved me a 1,000,000 times over. There is no other reason to explain how in those darkest days last winter that I actually got up out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. I did it because I knew that something bigger and better than me knew the plans for me and didn't want to harm me. Because I believed in my core that I could get through ANYTHING with Christ's strength. It's not my Mom's faith. It's heavily influenced by her - I kept so many of her devotion books and I read her copy of "Jesus Calling" every morning - but if she were here we would still disagree about A LOT. This is my faith. This is my version of #yellowpixiedust. Her influence, my life.
Conversations about faith can be funny. I get so upset when I read Facebook posts and other social media. Christians can be pretty darn mean to each other. I totally get it why there is a huge number of people out there who just don't have faith because they see all the Christians fighting and judging with each other. So I'll just say this. MY faith saved me. MY believe that God's got a plan for my life saved me. MY belief that Jesus forgives and accepts EVERYONE regardless of their lifestyle or preferences or sins. MY faith believes that only God can judge, we don't get a say. That's my faith. It maybe different than yours, but please don't judge. Just let Jesus and all the #yellowpixiedust keep guiding me along.
PS - Mama's Special Bible Versus from Her Funeral Service
So, just like thank you cards for all the flowers and donations (she will never, ever forgive me but those just DID NOT HAPPEN), I am remiss in posting the list of "special versus" my Mom requested to be read at her service. This is totally Betty. She picked one particular staff member at Epworth and told her that when she died, this person was to read these versus at her service. Not one or two of them - ALL OF THEM. And, as was quoted in Mama's service, they were to be read in the New King James Version, not in that hippy The Message version (that her daughter really loves).
So many of you asked for that list of scripture because it was not printed in the program. Because NO ONE knew that it was coming :-)!!
So, almost a year later, I'm sorry, but here it is:
Deuteronomy 4:39 + 6:4-5
Proverbs 3:5-6
Psalm 91:1-2
Psalm 103:1-5
Psalm 119:57-60; 89-95; 105; 159-168
Psalm 139:13-18
Micah 6:8
Matthew 22:37-40
John 11; 25-26
John 14:1-4
Philippians 4:13
So, just like thank you cards for all the flowers and donations (she will never, ever forgive me but those just DID NOT HAPPEN), I am remiss in posting the list of "special versus" my Mom requested to be read at her service. This is totally Betty. She picked one particular staff member at Epworth and told her that when she died, this person was to read these versus at her service. Not one or two of them - ALL OF THEM. And, as was quoted in Mama's service, they were to be read in the New King James Version, not in that hippy The Message version (that her daughter really loves).
So many of you asked for that list of scripture because it was not printed in the program. Because NO ONE knew that it was coming :-)!!
So, almost a year later, I'm sorry, but here it is:
Deuteronomy 4:39 + 6:4-5
Proverbs 3:5-6
Psalm 91:1-2
Psalm 103:1-5
Psalm 119:57-60; 89-95; 105; 159-168
Psalm 139:13-18
Micah 6:8
Matthew 22:37-40
John 11; 25-26
John 14:1-4
Philippians 4:13
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